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There's still the matter of erasing "those recordings that play in your head about men and relationships," Palmer said.

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Instead of focusing on things like appearance, the type of car he drives and "all the adjectives you've had since you were 24," she says, "really [figure] out the feelings you want to feel in a partnership and what that looks like in real life.

Women of maturity learn that there are so many different attributes of a man that count so much more." 3. " There's still more "me work" to be done when dating like a grown-up.

"Men don't want to chase women," Palmer said, laughing. men in their 50s and 60s know what they want, they know how to get it, so they don't go for the hard to get stuff." That doesn't mean you have to take the lead, Palmer said, but it does mean it's ok to show you're interested in the person. "They've been rejected since they were 14 years old at the dance.

We think we have to deal with rejection, but they've had it 100 times worse.

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